weak... and smoking~

everyone has their own strengths and weakness,for me this is wat makes us all equal.Although we sometimes perceive a person's weakness as small,insignificant but maybe for that person himself or others it's a big issue,it's all about perception.
I have a weakness that's been bugging me,making me feel low and incomplete if i may say... sometimes i feel i'm just making a big fuss about this,and i know some do agree with this but hey,it's not that i want to feel this.i always want this feeling to go away,doesn't have to be cured,just to forget about it,ignore it.i wish i can put it in a box and store it away for a while,living my life without it for a while but the problems is everytime i do that,it's easily opened by wat i see,wat i hear,wat i remember..sigh...but maybe there's a hikmah behind this barren period and i think i know wat is it...maybe i'm just not ready for the cure,not mature enough,not know how to handle the consuquences of the cure.basically i'm still immature and wat i can do is just be patient and hold it inside
on lighter note,i'll be flying off to germany in a few hours time and still manage to find the time to go skating with hijjaz,napit,corom and sarah.it was quite fun,i know we do nothing but just go around in circles but the real fun is the human interaction,we laugh together,fall together.as the year goes by i've realized i've become less interested to game and more interested with hanging out with friends,i wish can go out more often... and last but not least,for the first time i actually see a smoking foot.believe it,napit's foot was literally smoking when he remove his skates after the skating session.i laughed my heart out watching his foot smoking,the feeling was nice..and liberating. hopefully my travelling will go well,i've been slipping things lately,latest was tissue tisue roll which slipped into the toilet bowl,hope it's not signifying anything bad...i pray that all will go well..ciao