"the reason why i stay single is so that i can have time to spend with my mantees" ....
those are the words that my bio lecturer once said to me and my classmates back in those days in college.At that time,i thought it is just an excuse,to cover up the fact that she can't find her soulmate yet and that she's probably lonely. Basically,just an excuse...but recent events have make me realize...there are some truths in what she said back then
2 days ago i attended my coursemates wedding...and it made me realize that i have reached the age for such matters d...ya,ya,ya,i know i'm still studying and stuff but,the wedding and the chats that i had with my 2 female friends(apparently i'm their girlfriend as well,especially to one of them,cis mungggg) make me realize that i can't deny anymore the fact that i'm at the age d...the age to be adult,have ur own life,taking more responsibilty and stuff..and one even asked me...am i ready for such responsible??
although at that time i give some crappy answer(which is quite true also k) but it really got me thinking, am i ready? i know...for me,i have been train...and i believe...that as a guy,i have to be ready to be the provider for my family...will have to work and stuff....if possible,dowan to rely on my family la...right now...takpe la kot..but when i got married later...i must at least self sustainable
but another thing i starting to realize(i suppose) is...when that time come...some things have to go...things like....frens... i suppose.... when u r married...and working...u won't have that much time already to spend time with ur frens... u have ur work and family to think about,lagi lagi la if u r in the medical profession...ur time will be quite limited...and that when u start working u will be seperated from ur uni frens...and u will have to make new frens...but at the same time the friendship won't be as the friendships before..it'll be more of an adult friendship..and limited by the time available to u
this realization upsets me a bit...coz i know my time with my friends now is very limited...soon there will be less n less hanging out or go mamak and ther will be less ppl joining such gathering coz each will have commitments at the office or at home...and it upsets me more that...in less than a year i will be seperated from the gems that i've found in dublin...sigh...yeah,we will try our best to keep in touch then...but nothing will be the same...unless if fate intervenes and that we end up at the same working place...and yet still...when the time for marriage comes...it signals that u r officially entering the adult world...it is inevitable though,that's just how life suppose to be...we move on...losing certain things along the way and found new things instead....right now i'm probably just ...being paranoid,thinking too much forward and worrying too much..since it's inevitable...instead of getting upset...i should just cherish the time now....it might end sooner than planned..or maybe later...no one knows... so i should take the days one day at a time...
i know wat must be done....but still...my feelings are autonomous of my mind...and it still weep when those goodbyes have to be said...but still it longs for the one person that will lead to marriage...coz that one person will be the substitute for all the frens that it might need to say goodbye....
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4 comments:
danial(le), <--- hahahaha
u ni kan, dun la look at it that way. dah kahwin pun u're still friends with your friends :) true maybe xdpt nk segila now, but dah tua2 nk gila camana pun xD your joints dh bunyi2 dah time tu utk main dota hahahaha
deep, dan. deep. :)
Hahaha... Confirms my belief that I am better off not married anyway.
But I always believe that true friendships will withstand the test of time and marital bliss.
Just look at it in another angle, sure you might lose out on the old mamak-ing sessions with your buddies.
But in turn, all those moments will be replaced with your time spent with your soulmate and perhaps, your children. Those precious moments of love and intimacy with your wife, and to watch your offsprings grow up.
This my friend, will be moments you seek and cherish as it will be the ones that will enrich your life.
So janganle nak jadi poyo sangat and kahwin je la. Lolz
hahaha,thx all for the comments. I must say when i was writing that i was looking at it from one direction only, though i at the end of it i did admit that even we lose some,we gain some as well... in 5-10 yrs time...the sentiment will change with time...i know...and 'monday', wat do u mean i poya?? :P and although u say u r better off not married,u do understand that benefits of being married...:D
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