Scream

i wanna scream... scream out my feelings,to be known,to be realised,to be taken seriously,to have a chance...but do i wanna do that?
I wanna scream... scream out my frustration,my sadness,my dilemma, my disappointement,to be released.... but do i dare to do such action?
My indecisiveness,which stem out from my insecurity,my low self confidence,my fear.chickening out...it's getting me into trouble again...with myself
I've made resolution...but now i'm on the verge of breaking it..and getting into trouble,it's like drug,i just can't escape it,providing me with a false sense of happiness and hope..or could it yet still be true?
Whatever it is,i'm happy on the outside,but inside i feel hampa,disappointed being unable to 'connect',being unable to project myself,being unable to understand,being unable to make my present significantly felt
Water and oil can't mix with each other,but don't htey complement each other?
I'm tired...i need a sign to start a change,i dowan to remain static when around me the water is flowing...may i have the courage to start the change

Gregory House:Time doesn't change anything,things change things...